I have completed 16 click route march. It was tough. Really tough for me at the last 4 click. this is how route marches is done. we will walk 4 click in the space of an hour or at a faster pace which is 45 minutes. den we will rest for 15 minutes for water break and all. at 12 click we will rest for meals. which is about an hour. den we will carry on the rest of the distance.

the last 4 click was really tough for me as i stopped singing. i always tell people not to think about how long more to end, just keep walking. but i ended up thinking how long more to end during the last 4.

we went for Graduation Parade(GP) rehearsal. not easy man. it is my first parade in my entire life. standing in a file not moving is no way an easy task. wad's more i am standing in the first row. army is like this, you won't like it but just endure it. and everything will pass.

enough stuffs about army.

i was cycling back home from my girlfriend house last night and i saw secondary school students sitting at the bus stop chit chatting. i miss those days man.

if you do your best for a test, that's normal.
if you do your best in everything, that's call character.
so do your best in anything u do.

i gotta feeling
that tonight is gonna be a good night
that tonight is gonna be a good night
that tonight is gonna be a good good night.

2 more weeks to POP. thinking back i just enlisted on 6th october. now im on my way to POP. feels pretty good. i no longer care where my posting will be. just pass out and i will be happy. i don't like that ferry to tekong. i don like to see pasir ris mrt except when i book out.

i have done 12 click route march in long 4. it was tough because it is our first time wearing long 4 doing it. and the heat trapped in you just make you very uncomfortable. temperature will hit 38.0 when you take your temperature. but its normal. here's what my friend and i did. while the rest were singing all the army songs, we were singing jay chou songs and all those pop songs. and times pass easier like this. you have to echo out loud for the army sounds which alot of us feels that it actually drains out energy away and make us even more tired.

next up 16 click and 24 click. 16 click will be done on 1st december. and 24 click will be done on 8th december at 5 am.

im a long long way from home
and i miss my lover so
in the early morning run
when the cold wind blow.....

its been a month since i last blogged. i have enlisted into NS on 6th october 2009 and i have always wanted to blog on weekends when i book out but i didn't have the energy to. i have been sleeping and sleeping, nothing but sleeping when i am out on weekends.

training has been tiring, but yet each time when i finish it, i felt i have achieved something. there were times, that i wanna give up and just report sick or say that i am not feeling well, but each time, i thought to myself, why am i such a weakling and in the end, i managed to complete it. and i did report sick once but not because i gave up but my because my temperature was 38.4 degrees. I was running a fever, not running away from training.

i have a set a goal for myself. it's to complete BMT and pass out on 8th December. it may seem simple to every NS guy, but the thought of marching in front of my family and my girlfriend and then they coming down to see me in the tekong parade square just spurs me on each time especially when training get tougher and during the "tekan" period.

we have passed by and did training in the tekong parade square. each time when im there, i will always see myself graduating and my family is there. i will close my eyes and take a deep breath and tell myself, keep going!

army is a journey to self discovery. i have discover alot about myself. good and bad.

caged bird.

officially, 6 more days to army. having mixed feelings now. i feel happy, excited, nervous, at the same time, also scared, worried. i guess all the rest feels the same. i feel stressed up also. because only on weekends, i will be home. how sucky can that be.

okay. i have been meeting up friends. like primary school all the way to poly. going in army, definitely i wont have time. i sincerely thank each and everyone for making an effort to meet me. i haven't meet my badminton friends. i donno if they are meeting me. but i will definitely meet zhihong before i enlist. well, i will sms and ask them. see wad they say.

Okay. Great. On 6/9/2009, my friends were planning on a cycling trip. And we decided to cycle on 12/6/2009, saturday night. We planned to cycle from woodlands to tampines.

On saturday night, everyone met at triple 8, woodlands at 12am. There was Zhi Hong, Seng Hong, Zhi Cay, You Long, Wei Hong, Jun Pern unfortunately Sze Kai has urgent matters to attend to but its okay, he can always join us next time. When we started cycling, I got this feeling that I will tell them to stop at Jalan Kayu, where we will already planned to stop to eat supper. And when we arrived there it was only 1 plus. Seng Hong didn't want to cycle to tampines either as he had a meeting next day. I told him, it is only 1 plus, let's go tampines. And he said okay. So off we go. I think we left at 2 plus.

Cycling there was fun. But we took a longer route to reach there. We cycled down to sengkang west avenue, then to east avenue. Realized we overshot and then cycled to hougang avenue 2, then to tampines link. Gosh, it took really long. The stretch on tampines link was long. Halfway, we cycled and saw Buangkok east drive. And Zhi Hong and I was asking why is there a BUANGKOK EAST DRIVE! And we rested halfway, police came, just nice that policeman that came over to us stays in woodlands too. he didn't believe that we cycled from woodlands until we gave him our IC for him to take down our particulars. He was really a nice man. Friendly.

We arrived then at Tampines MacDonald. The feeling was great. But we were all tired. And the thought of cycling back, i almost felt like giving up. Zhi Cay went home by cab as he had something attend to. On our way back, of course we took Buangkok East Drive. Smarter now. We head to sembawang for breakfast. and then home! It was tiring but fulfilling. It was fun. And I still can't believe that I have cycled this far.

I reached home at 10. I slept till 12.30 and I went coaching. It was only 2 and a half hours sleep then I went. I was so tired and I forget to bring my socks. So I just wore my shoe without socks. Well that basically sum up the whole trip.

Thanks guys for this wonderful trip. It was fun. Thanks Zhi Hong for telling the policeman that I am the organizer when he was the one. I am always like the sai kang warrior. my friend shit, i clean. Haha.

I know I told you people that I will blog. But I haven't done so. I need to get my thoughts and feelings in place before I can blog. Nono. Its the mood to blog. I haven't found it yet. Sorry.

I will blog tomorrow. I mean later. Right now. let me get to sleep. remember to come back. =)

i always have this worry whenever jiaying goes out to the a new place. like she started her attachment in creative yesterday. and i start to worry if she will be okay with work. if things going to be fine for her. if she will be bullied by her colleagues and all. i always worry and will continue to worry for her. yes yes. i am over protective but this is me. Maybe when i knew her, she was only 14. back then, she was still a young girl where she will be very upset over the slightest thing. and from then on, i always want to make sure everything is okay for her. and she is doing fine. im glad to hear that everything is okay for her at work.

im going in army a month time. she is having attachment. things just clashes. at night before i sleep, it is always a time for me to think about my life, to reflect. just last night, i was thinking about how sucky it is to be only able to see my gf on saturday and sunday and then i will be in army again. i guess this is wad all the army guys is going through. really need to get use to it. im not worried about she leave me for someone else, im worried about when she is down, need someone to be there, i can't be there. hmm....

the next thing that i was thinking last night was about my mum. i felt loved. i remember many things my mum did for me. when i was in primary school, i was in the school soccer team, i needed to buy a pair of soccer boots and my coach offer me a 2nd hand one @ $20 dollars. I went back and ask my mum. and she agreed. i got my pair of boots and i was really happy to wear it. as now i have a pair of boots like my teammates. if not i would be still wearing my school shoe to play.

when i was in primary 5. i started learning how to use a phone and when i wanted a phone she bought it for me and this is wad happen. there was one evening, she went out with dad to buy a phone for my sis & i to use. she didnt cook dinner. i came home from school, expecting dinner and there was no dinner. no one to buy for me. when she came home, i threw temper at her. i asked why didnt she cook. i am so hungry. i was so angry at her for leaving me hungry. and then she took out the phone that she bought for me and passed to me. i immediately shut up and i was so happy that she bought me a phone! now i look back and think of it, i wanna say sorry to my mum. for being insensible. rang ta shou wei qu le. she dote on me and went out to get a phone and yet i blame her for not cooking dinner at first. i still remember my handphone number back then was 96926956. don't ask me is it singtel, m1. i don't remember and i didnt care because all i cared was that i got a phone. i think it was M1. should be.

i went into secondary school. this time i was in the badminton team. but still i wanted to buy a pair of boots. as sometimes, my friends would ask me to play soccer. i remember clearly that i went to causeway point with my mum to buy a pair of boots. it cost $60 plus dollars. that shop is @ level 3. now its another shop. i remembered walking around that shop selecting and i told my mum i like this pair and she bought it for me.

when i was in Nursery, i remembered clearly that my mum took outside the classroom and wave bye bye to me. and i look at her standing next to my teacher. and i felt sad. i couldn't understand why my mum want to leave me there. i think i didnt cry. i stood beside my teacher, feeling sad. throughout my 3 years in preschool, i boarded the school van myself, alighted and went to queue to get ready for classes. and if someone were to bring me away, i wouldn't know where is he bringing me to. before my class starts, there is always this uncle who comes with his bike selling bread. i have seen my fellow school mates buying bread. i went home and told my mum i want to buy also. it cost 50 cents back then i think. my mum always give me money to buy it. and i always bought red bean bread. i remember there was once, i gave the uncle money to buy the red bean bread but he said not enough money and return my money. i felt so sad. i can't buy my red bean bread. i think my mum also did not know how much it cost, as i always paid the uncle and i didnt care if i get back any change because all i wanted was my red bean bread. those were the days. i miss. whenever i go to woodlands sports hall to coach, i will always walk pass my preschool. i would always look inside. back then, i always think that my school is very big but now as i grow up, it is so small. really small.

i take pride in earning my own money and buying stuffs using my hard earned money. but i long again that my mum would go with me to somewhere and buy sth for me again. i miss those days when i was young. i miss everything. how nice it is.

and then i thought the day when my mum will be gone. forever. i felt sad. i felt really sad. tears was in my eyes. as i know i will miss everything about my mum. i am afraid of that day where i know my mum will be gone forever. throughout my growing up, she ensure i eat well, sleep well. everything is well for me. she has forgotten to doll up herself, making her an aunty today. for who? for us. for the family. she was still young back then. she learnt to cook, she learnt to take care of this family. sacrifices that she made. i am thankful. really thankful. she is like my shelter. even if the sky falls, she will hold it for me and i know i have nothing to be afraid of.

i am sure to u guys who read this entry, your mum must have did something that make you vividly remember and felt thankful for it. thank your mum, love your mum with all your heart. remember that your mum has made alot of sacrifices for you. remember to repay them back.

mum, i want to buy soccer boots, can you go with me?